Dear Diary – Hello? Universe? Are you speaking to me?

April 27, 2014

Dear Diary

Ok first things first. This avoiding wheat etc is working really well. Without actually dieting my weight has dropped 1 stone, or 14lbs, done with Davina training me through the telly, so I am feeling better in myself. I’ll be happy when I’ve lost 1 more stone but I know that will take a good while longer. Since its just 15ms an evening, I can usually talk myself into following the dvd, though my inclination is to do anything but! Thankfully it is starting to pay off.

On the other side of things what I was waiting for arrived but once the tax man had at it, it solved one problem getting my old banger through it’s MOT which cost half the value of the car, but unfortunately hasn’t left me enough for a comfortable move. The rental market is scary. It costs nearly 3.5k just to move and the biggest rip off merchants are these agents with agency admin fees, agreement fees, inventory fees, referencing fees, the last 4 should all come under the admin fees, but it’s worse, because even though you may have your deposit from your current place, and you pay your rent through DD on a certain day, you actually need more like 4.5k just to move. Sure once you’ve moved you do get your old deposit back, but it’s still crippling and landlords have become so outrageously greedy. Something that cost ยฃ1200pcm last year, now costs ยฃ1600pcm. There is this extreme of either council housing which unless you’re being helped by the government you can’t have, but then there’s all the rest of us who don’t have a lot of money and there’s hardly any housing available to us. And heaven forbid if you dare to be single.

This always seems to happen. Just when I’m at the point of being able to move forward it’s like the universe shakes it’s finger and goes ‘uh no, not now!’ It’s beyond frustrating. I keep trying to move forward into something that can only be good, i.e. taking care of children that need it, but every step forward leads to 2 steps back. I am starting to wonder whether this is the universes way of telling me this isn’t my path. I’ve been so mind set on this for the last 10years maybe this isn’t what life wants for me, I don’t know.

Physically I suppose I could have a child of my own but I’m no spring chicken and that would be the hardest path of all to take on my own.

Yesterday I tried to go find some space on my own, somewhere where there is at least 50ft away from anyone else. So I went to Richmond Park and walked out into the middle far away from anyone. What is it with people? There’s a whole expanse of grass and what do they do, they walk directly to where I”m sitting and start playing ball with their kid. I have to say it really pissed me off. What is it with people who just have to fill space. I had it once when I parked my car on a long empty road, just trying to find to space away from everyone, and then what happens, some irritating pain parks right up my back side. Seriously, I don’t get it.

What I do get however is karma and I watched it unfold right before my eyes when I was driving over Kew Bridge. This small penised moron jumped the traffic lights just as I was driving across so I had to put my brakes on, so I hooted at the MFkr and just as he was flicking me the bird and pulling faces, he went up the arse of the car in front! Karma works quick sometimes! and in the distance I saw him crawling his car to the side of the road where they had to exchange details. Knob head!

Tomorrow after work I’m going to see a psychic. The last time the universe was screaming at me to change my mind was when I was emigrating to Cyprus and well all know how that turned out. ย I don’t know if this lady will be any good, all I know is that I”m a bit of a bugger to give a reading to, if she asks me what star sign I am I’m walking, but her reviews appear genuine, we’ll see, will update you later.. ๐Ÿ™‚

 

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About The Cooking and Life Goddess

Writer, creative cook, and novice Paleo in training! Join me as I create and learn on my Cooking, Paleo and Writing journey :)

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