Dear Diary – Managing Expectations

June 29, 2014

Dear Diary

Well this week has been a bit of a doozy for me. It started off very stressfully but thanks to an amazing  lady who came in a helped cover my receptionist who was off sick, she really managed to turn things around. With the refurbishment of our new office space I was working flat out so to have someone who is organised and professional was like a breath of fresh air, especially since she didn’t have all the skills to start off, but being organised and having common sense meant she picked everything up really quickly which left me free to run around like the usual headless chicken that I am!

On Thursday evening I noticed Ramses wasn’t his usual self, he wasn’t that hungry and he seemed listless, so I continued to keep an eye on him.  Then later that evening I was in the bathroom and noticed that he seemed to be staggering a little. Then he was trying to drink, then trying to use the litter box, and he kept doing this for what seemed like ages. I wasn’t sure what was happening. Then around midnight, I decided to do a search on the internet to see what advice I could find.

It was then that I got a little freaked out, as it said if he had those symptoms, then it couldn’t wait till morning as it could be life threatening. So feeling a swell of panic setting in I called the emergency vet who agreed I should bring him in.

As I drove there in an effort not to lose it, I said over and over again, please God help us, please God help us, repeatedly until we got there.

He was severely dehydrated, and though his bladder didn’t seem to have any hard lumps, he said that if he didn’t pee then they  might have to sedate him and see what the blockage could be. It was then that the vet said I might have to prepare myself for the worst, as his internal organs might be shutting down. This was my worst fear as I tried unsuccessfully to hold back the tears. I think the whole situation freaked Ramses out too as he peed in his box, so at least we didn’t have to sedate him, as he never have survived in his current condition. So I left him there and spent the rest of the night sobbing my heart out, terrified that I’d have to face saying good bye to my baby boy. It’s the worst decision in the world to make, I’ve done it 3 times before, and it’s completely devastating.

Unable to sleep whilst my mind went to all the darkest places, terrified that the time had come for me to make that horrendous decision to let him go. I couldn’t sleep, and I couldn’t trust my mind not to go to all the sick places it goes to at these times. So I watched crap, and by crap I really mean crap, Princess Grace of Monaco with Nicole Kidman. Blimey, now I know why it was slated, it was dire, and I actually appreciate crap at certain times. But, it moved around in front of my eyes enough to send me to 2 hours sleep.

They had said that they would call me in the morning, and not knowing what else to do, I went to work. It was either that or be left at home with my imagination torturing me. But they didn’t call and then finally by 11am I called them feeling beside myself. He was ok, his kidneys weren’t functioning well, but he had a small percentage still working and apparently that’s enough for for a cat to continue for a while longer. He was eating and had been rehydrated but he had cystitis, so they put him on a treatment and I collected him at 6.30pm that evening.

The bill came to £337 so I asked them if they would communicate directly with my pet insurance company, but they said no. Despite the fact that I had been with the same vet for years and had always had this arrangement. But turns out the vet I regarded so highly had sold the business and the new owners didn’t work that way. I asked if I could pay in two instalments, to which I was told that if they had to pay straight away for meds etc. then so did I. They had never contacted me to let me know the practice had changed hands, so were trading off the good will developed by the previous owners, and yet they showed no good will whatsoever. So when I went to collect him, I gave them the insurance form and told them that they would have to wait till I got paid by the insurance company, I was out of goodwill and buggered if I was going to settle there and then.

Thankfully, he’s still eating and no longer passing blood so we’re in another reprieve, but it’s a constant roller coaster, seeing him staggering around was terrifying. But he seems his normal, albeit skinny self. I will make that decision when he doesn’t bounce back but I’m grateful to still have some time with him. Seeing my other cat freak out that night had intensified the whole episode, coz he was just as scared a me and he knew something was very wrong. But he’s happy too to have him back too.

But these damn vets who are in it just for the money and bully someone when they are at their most vulnerable are gits. And the insurance company. After paying a monthly amount for years, I ended up having to pay £99 excess followed  by £187 leaving the insurance just £54! Hell I could have put all the money I’ve paid them into a savings account and paid for the lot myself. I know that if I have to take him back for the same reason I won’t have to pay the excess again, but because of his age, I have to pay 35% of the total each time. And as far as the drugs are concerned, I managed to find the same on the internet, and the vets are marking up by 100% and that doesn’t take into account that they are getting them at trade prices, so it’s probably 150% mark up. These extortionists should be regulated instead of praying on terrified pet owners.

So I felt psychologically bullied, then financially screwed. In future I have no choice by to go to the RSPCA as I just can’t afford the cost. And at least they do it for the love of animals and you have to give donations, which I would have been happy to give the same amount to, knowing that the funds go towards an animal charity and people that don’t bully emotionally wrought pet owners.

I’m still shattered, sobbing really takes it out of you and I can’t remember the last time my soul howled like that, it’s been a long time. So I have to admit, I’m not feeling particularly creative though I had some ideas for recipes, just not the energy. It doesn’t help when I know I have a tough week ahead of me with conversations I’d rather not have to have with someone I care a great deal about. Responsibility sucks sometimes.

Note to self: Must say thank you to God for Ramses reprieve 🙂

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About The Cooking and Life Goddess

Writer, creative cook, and novice Paleo in training! Join me as I create and learn on my Cooking, Paleo and Writing journey :)

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